Writing Through Existential Despair

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Since the state of the world is...well...Not Great, more and more authors are finding themselves trying to be creative despite near constant dread, worry, and existential despair.

Even if you manage to tune out the daily noise of political updates, just knowing that our current administration (for those of you in the US) is so cruel can feel impossibly heavy -- especially if you're a member of one of the groups currently being targeted.

So what do you do when writing is supposed to be your escape and/or your job? 

What do you do when you have the wider world stress PLUS something major happening in your personal life? 

I don't have all the answers (I don't think anyone does), but having been through a pretty hellish few years personally while maintaining creative joy and finishing (and selling!) multiple books, I do have some advice to pass on. 

Find What Is Within Your Control

Especially with the wider political extenstial despair, there is SO much that is outside of your control. Yet it's tempting to doom scroll or stay hyper-vigilante on breaking news in an attempt to find a sense of safety in "knowing what's going on." 

Except... feeding your brain a constant stream of Bad Shit Is Happening! is really only going to make you feel worse. And when it feels like there's nothing you can DO to help make shit less bad, well, that's a recipe for creative block if I've ever heard one.

If it's really important to you to stay on top of the news, I recommend turning off any news notifications and limiting your consumption to a specific time of day -- ideally after you've had time for your writing. 

And when there are things that really fuck with your head (or send you into a justifiable panic), sit down and write out a safety plan. 

This can be as simple as listing out ways you're currently safe (I have a stable home, there is plenty of food in the kitchen, I have a great network of supports, etc.), what you can do to help with the thing stressing you out (call your representative, support your local community in some way, or find a way to put some extra kindness into the world), and what you can do if your worst case scenario fears come true. Just listing out the action steps and finding the places you do have influence/agency can be really soothing for your system. 

You can use this same process with your writing -- if you're anxious about being on submission or feeling uncertain as you wait for your agent's feedback on your current idea, writing out what you DO know for sure is such a helpful place to start. 

And you can go really broad with this! Things like:

• I know my writing process 
• I know I'll keep writing no matter what 
• I know that I always feel the most scared of an idea until the moment I actually get started 
• I trust that my agent and I are on the same team 
• I know my writing block each day will still be X - Y 
   

Anchor to Your Purpose

Another challenge of existential despair due to *gestures at everything* is when you get into the spiral of "what's the point of writing when all this is happening?"  

And while this thought is normal, I promise that if you put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you do know why it matters. 

You just need to remind your brain. Definitely more than once. (Probably regularly.) 

Here are some questions to ask yourself (you can pick one, a handful, or answer them all) when you get into this space. I encourage you to actually write down the answers: this forces your brain to really articulate what you believe. If you just think about the answers, the brain tends to get lazy and stay super vague. 

Why is fiction important even in good times?

Why is fiction especially important when times are tough?

What's one book that made a major impact on your life? Now imagine the author never wrote that book and you never got a chance to read it. How might that have negatively impacted you? 

Why do you value books that mean something to you while reading them, even if you don't ever think about them again afterwards? 

Why did I start writing in the first place? 

What impact do I want my books to have on readers? (Note: this doesn't have to be a profound answer!)

What about the act of writing makes me feel better?

Come Back to Your Body

Now that we've talked about your brain, another important step is getting back into your body. So much of our anxieties (even the very legitimately ones!) are about what will happen in the future. 

To counteract that, focusing on what's happening in your body helps put you back into the here and now. 

There are lots of different ways to do this. You could go for a walk. Do some deep breathing exercises. Simply pause and take a moment to really feel your feet on the floor or the support of the chair underneath you. 

You can put a hand to your heart as your breath, trace a finger over your palm while paying attention to the sensation, or tune into the temperature of the air as you inhale and exhale. 

These practices can take as little as a few seconds as you get started. Short ones can serve as a quick reminder that in this moment you are okay. Longer ones (like going for a walk, dancing to your favorite song, etc.) can act as a great reset if you're in a slump. 

Final Thoughts

When all else fails, I like to remind myself that JOY is a form of resistance. That in every time of great upheaval in our world, artists have created. And their art matters. YOUR art matters. And it's okay to take breaks. To lower the bar. To let go of perfection and toxic productivity. 

Yes, things are hard right now. Yes, your stories still matter. Your enjoyment of telling those stories matters, too. 

Happy writing,
Isabel 

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